Teaching Your Teen How To Cope With Anger


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Teenage anger – don’t take it for granted. It can be confusing and terrifying at times. The behavior, if not curbed, can also lead to something serious – deviance, criminal acts, chemical dependency, and more. With this, you should learn some ways to help them handle it.


  1. Be A Role Model.


First, you should be a model for your teenager. Handle your anger peacefully and at the same time, find a solution to what triggered your feelings. Openly talk to your teenager about how to manage anger healthily so as not to cause regrettable problems in the future.


  1. Help Teenagers To Redirect Anger Properly.


You have to find the means where your teenager can belt out his anger. Teach them to redirect their frustrations on a punching bag, doing physical exercises or sports, art, dancing, martial arts, and so many more. Point out the importance of expressing their anger on those as mentioned earlier rather than blowing it up on people.


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  1. Be Mindful Of External Impacts.


Understand that your teenager’s anger issues may have something to do with your parenting. “Some teen aggression is expected,” says John Mayer, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Chicago who treats violent and acting-out teens and their families. Instead of going against it, proceed with total self-control and don’t blow up. Your teenager will surely follow your lead. If there is a problem, it should be taken seriously but not personally as well. Therapists can’t stress on this enough.


  1. Establish Strict Rules, Rewards System And Consequences For Intentional Errors.


You have to set out strict rules and standards in your household. For every action, there will be an equivalent consequence – either a reward or a punishment. Stick to it no matter what so that your teenager will understand the significance of the rules that you have imposed. “Teens can become so aggressive and out of control that they can sometimes miss out on important developmental steps they need to become successful adults,” says John Mayer, Ph.D.


  1. Practice Discipline With Rewards.


A reward can motivate your teenager to follow and embrace your rules. Set your rewards as something that your teenager will like. For example, an extra 30 minutes for gadgets, going out with friends, and the likes. It will help them do what you want them to do without troubles. The tactic is usually very effective.



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  1. Understand The Pressure That Your Teenager Is Undergoing.


“Young people are typically unable to see beyond their acute and immediate struggles, which may be related to being victimized by a bully, being a survivor of sexual assault or violence, being uncertain about their sexual orientation, or medical and/or psychological disorders,” said Krystle Herbert, LMFT, PsyD. Understand that your teenager may have issues with her peers, classmates, friends, school work and many more. They may be young people, but they are also susceptible to strained relationships, peer pressure, and stress. And remember, teen hormones are volatile – be considerate of them.


  1. Talk To Your Teen About Their Issues.


Being a teenager is hard. They have unrealistic standards wherein they need to keep up with others, and that causes tension and pressure. With that, you have to make her feel that you are open to talks and your teen is welcome to approach you anytime. Sometimes, their anger is something that they cannot express openly. Help them release it through conversations.


  1. Learn To Listen And Spend Time With Your Teen.


Allot some time for your family, especially the angry teenager. Learn to listen to their issues and bond with them by talking. It will help your teenager feel secure and loved. It will also make your teen think that he can handle situations because he has parents who are supportive.


  1. Be Open To Negotiations.


If your teenager has concerns regarding your rules, hear them out. You can also negotiate with them and give them a chance to explain their side. It’s about democracy. Ignoring your teen or not giving him the opportunity to speak their minds can lead to compressed anger which may worsen over time.


  1. Encourage Your Teen To Talk About His Bad Feelings.


Allow your teenager to talk about his feelings. Don’t post your parental judgment and wisdom by dominating the conversation. Allow them to express their opinions first. After the teen has calmed down, you can make some suggestions or comments. Don’t criticize, not even constructively, if you want your teen to digest your talks.

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