15 Reasons Why Mothers Abandon Their Children – Therapists Reveal It All

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There are a lot of reasons, according to therapists, as to why some women think this way. Pregnancy is supposed to be an enjoyable experience as most mothers would say. Even women who did not plan their pregnancy will tell you that keeping their baby was the best decision they have made and they could not imagine their life now if they did not become a mother.

However, some women do not think about pregnancy and motherhood this way. They feel that it is not in them to be a mother and giving up or abandoning their babies is the best choice.

With that, we will be looking into those reasons, as revealed to us by certified mental health specialists and therapists.

Adoption And Abortion Are Not Accepted In Their Society.

These women may not have the choice and the access to adoption and abortion, and they are pressured by what their peers might think, so they quietly leave their babies somewhere for another person to find.

The Mother Has HIV Or AIDS.

A new study shows that almost half of the abandoned babies are born with HIV or AIDS. It may be a reason why their mothers leave them.

They Lack Support From Their Families.

It might be because of their social status or their culture or religion, so they abandon their child. It might not be their choice, or it might be out of shame for their families will not accept them, so they leave their babies.

The Mothers Have No Home Of Their Own.

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Some mothers think that they might be incapable of raising a child in a place where raising children is dangerous, or they might not have the sources to provide for their child.

They Are Not Financially Stable.

Unplanned pregnancy and raising a child can make a woman anxious and abandon their babies. They might not be ready financially and have no financial support but is too scared to reach out for adoption.

The Mothers Have Addiction Issues.

Women who are addicted to substances do not think clearly. They cannot decide properly and leave their children on the streets without realizing what they have done because they are drugged or drunk.

Teenage Pregnancy Is Unacceptable For Some.

Teenage pregnancies are very much frowned upon in society and to avoid the bullying and the anger of their family, they secretly carry their child and leave the baby somewhere after they give birth.

The Babies Have Appearance Or Mental Handicaps.

This may be deemed unreasonable, but some women will abandon their child because of a physical deformity, a mental handicap or even if they gave birth to a child of a certain gender they don’t want. Instead of accepting the child, they will abandon the baby because they don’t like what they see.

She Has No Desire To Become A Mother.

Some might think this way but still accept and love the child, but others don’t feel the love and the desire to have a child and be a mother, so they leave their child behind.

Postpartum Depression Is Also A Concern.

It is another reason for a mother to abandon her child, especially if they do not get the support they need. Sometimes, a woman might feel like they are not bonded with their baby, and it might have led to them feeling worse that then leads to them leaving their babies.

The Mother Is Not Ready.

This has been the highest cause of child abandonment around the world for some women are not ready for the responsibility of being a mother. They will state reasons as to why they are not ready and why they will freely give up their baby.

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They Have An Abusive Partner.

A woman might be in an abusive relationship and don’t want her child to grow up in a situation like that. They will leave their baby and hope he or she gets a better life contrary to what she is living at the moment.

The Mothers Have Their Insecurities.

Some women think that they are not cut out to become a parent. They have no idea how to raise a child properly and to be the best mother for the child and end up abandoning the baby.

They Are In Denial Of Their Situation.

Some women cannot accept the fact that they are pregnant. They are scared of judgments from other people. That is why once they give birth, they have no idea what to do, and they will decide to abandon the baby.

The Mothers Have Mental Illnesses.

A woman who is not mentally stable will not think clearly and do things they would never do if they are mentally sane. They might also believe that since they are not mentally stable, they cannot raise their children properly. This leads to them abandoning their child.

All of these reasons sound surreal but are happening in real life. We know now that it is the lack of support and their mental state that hinders them from becoming a mother. The best way is always to show your loved ones the support they need, especially when they are going through pregnancy so will not end up abandoning their child, no matter their situation.

What Positive Disciplining Can Do For Your Teen 

Do you happen to have neighbors whose kids are rebellious, rude, and as psychologists often describe – defiant? If you do, then you probably know how vital it is to discipline children.  

Discipline is not only beneficial for children but it also adds to the improvement of their health and well-being. Discipline is as relevant for child development as organic food, physical activity, love, and other primary needs in life. It helps them manage their relationships and cope with the challenges they face. Being disciplined instills respect for others, cooperation, and self-discipline itself.  

As opposed to what some parents want to believe, kids are not appropriately disciplined aren’t happy. Actually, when parents fail to discipline their children, it often causes them to be sad, frustrated, and even resentful. This child may become lousy company to other kids and he may have a hard time making new friends and connecting with his old friends.  

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Children’s Psychological Issues Due To Poor Parenting

Parents have a meaningful influence on their children’s development and growth. That’s because kids take their parent’s actions and words as an example of how they should and shouldn’t handle things around them. Whether good or bad, it doesn’t matter. These kids believe that whatever they see or hear from their parents imply immediate action without the need for logical thinking. With that, it creates tons of psychological issues over time. Yes, there are ways to manage mental problems with the help of a therapist. But it doesn’t guarantee a lifelong result when parents also continue the poor parenting.

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Kids Are Unable To Become Children

Most parents often complain about their kids’ inability to stay quiet and be still. That’s the reason why some of them sometimes result in scolding and spanking kids whenever they are unable to calm down. It creates a psychological issue when these kids constantly listen to their parents’ demands to always behave. These kids will feel uncomfortable doing things even though it is their nature to be silly, cheerful, and adventurous. With that, children may feel anxious about their actions. Thus, they become less confident as they go grow up.

There’s A Buildup Of Depression And Anxiety

Parents who continuously question, look after and negatively observe their kids’ every move are more likely to cause anxiety and depression. That’s because of the pressure that parents are unknowingly putting into the kids’ lives. “It’s mostly in the social relationships, the parent-child relationships, and not something medical,” says Rahil Briggs, a child psychologist. Usually, poor parenting starts with simple criticism. It may seem okay at first because the intentions are somehow good.  But if there’s a demand in it, it can make children question their strength and capabilities. Thus, instead of allowing them to learn from their mistakes, these kids would choose to stay dependent on their parents.

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Tons Of Unpleasant Words Coming Out

When parents always complain about how the children often cause problems, these kids will likely conclude that everyone is better off without them. “Mothers with depression are less likely to interact with their children in active ways. And this has an “impact on your relationship with your child and capacity to parent,” said Joanne Nicholson, Ph.D, a psychologist. Sometimes, children purposely put themselves in danger because of the belief that they are invaluable. And even if parents don’t mean what they say, children will still take it in and live with the negative words forever. Inevitably, some may look at it as a strengthening factor for improving mental and emotional health. However, it is far more different to an encouraging statement due to the mental and emotional torture the hurtful words give.

Disapproval And Discontentment

Perhaps it is known that parents often compare their children to others. Well, some parents may see it as a way of motivating their kids in reaching their potential. But, it’s not always a significant way to do it. Because instead of encouraging children, the process only results in building up a lack of self-esteem. In some unfortunate circumstances, kids might develop an inferiority complex due to constant comparison from different individuals. With that, the psychological issue will begin by the thought of not always being good enough. That everything they do will still end up a waste of time and effort.

There Are Trust Issues

“I think parents often don’t realize how their own emotions, thoughts, feelings, and overall ‘stuff’  significantly impacts their decisions and perspectives,” said Shuli Sandler, a psychologist. Typically, parents would always remind their kids never to trust a stranger. Well, at some point it is quite acceptable. But if children will try to take it seriously and follow it thoroughly, it can have the potential to affect them negatively. Yes, they might not get taken advantage of, but soon these kids will develop severe trust issues with people.

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Not Allowed To Show Emotions

Some parents show a lack of sensitivity to their kids. That’s because they believe that exposing the weak side will only generate mimicry. That’s also the reason why they tell kids to “stop complaining and crying.” However, that action creates a psychological impact on kids’ emotional strength. These little ones will tend to believe that their feelings are not valid and essential. And when they often suppress their emotion, they will assume that sensitivity is a form of weakness.

Unable To Become Independent

Overprotective and over controlling parents are always a sign of poor parenting. The action causes children to become more intolerant, irresponsible, and dependent. It leads to children not taking actions and are more likely unable to make critical decisions.

Handling kids is a tough job. But as parents, it is our role and responsibility to do our best no matter what.

 

Your Guide To Handling A Troubled Teenager

Being a parent of a teenager is challenging because of the different kinds of pressure available on the latter. As a parent, it is only typical for you to want the best for your son or any family member. All you want is for him to take up a course that can help him secure his future. At the same time, you also hope that he will stay away from vices such as smoking or using drugs. Unfortunately, there are instances when things seem to go beyond your control.

 

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It can be sad and heartbreaking to find out that your teenaged child is going through a problem even in his early years. At some point, you will feel responsible for who he has become or with the choices he makes. When this happens, the right thing to do is to avoid blaming yourself for what is happening in his life. Instead, find the courage within you to help him find the right path. Remember that it is never too late for him to change. All that you need to do is to trust your love for each other.

 

In this article, we are going to provide you with a list of the proper ways to handle a troubled teenager. Make sure to familiarize yourself with these:

 

  1. Identify The Issue

 

The initial step that you need to accomplish is to determine the problem in your teenage child’s attitude. Why is he acting that way? Did something take place in the past that made him distant and difficult to deal with? As a parent of the troubled person, you need to be aware of the answers to these questions. Keep in mind that the only way to know the proper solution to the problem is to know the reason.

 

  1. Talk To Your Child

 

Now is the time when your son needs you the most. Do not abandon him just because he has become hardheaded or stubborn. The way your child acts may be brought about by some frustrations or issues that he has about his self or those surrounding him. Because of this, you must study or learn how to talk to him. Make him feel comfortable so that he will start to open up to you.

 

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  1. Keep Your Cool

 

A troubled teenager will test your patience and understanding. You will get mad quickly, especially when he would show his rebellious acts. When this happens, the ideal thing to do is to relax and have a presence of mind. Avoid making him feel that you are about to give up to him. Instead, find a way to inform him that you will always be by his side no matter what happens.

 

  1. Do Things Together

 

If your beloved son is suffering from drug addiction or substance abuse, then make sure to introduce ways that can divert his attention from the harmful items. An excellent way of doing this is to start bonding together. Give time to your son so that he will feel that you care about his well-being. Remind him that there are other fun things to do other than smoking, drinking or overdosing.

 

  1. Use Positive Reinforcement

 

Another smart idea is to use the power of positive reinforcement to motivate the teenager to start doing good things. Give him a reward whenever he does an act that makes you happy or those everyone around him. However, you must remember to find an award or prize that is equivalent to the deed he has done. Make sure to use your sound judgment in making a decision.

 

  1. Ask Help

 

At this point, it is crucial to emphasize the reality that it is okay to seek help from other people. Do not be embarrassed if you need to call for help, support or assistance to some friends or relatives. These people will be more than willing to extend their helping hands. Your son may not listen to you, but he may take in the advice from other people.

 

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  1. Impose Rules

 

As a parent, you have every right to impose rules and regulations that your son must follow. This is an important thing to do so that there will be order in your household. Let your child know that non-compliance with the rules can result in a disadvantage on their part. Nonetheless, this does not give you an unbridled authority to specify unreasonable rules.

 

  1. Find A Therapist

 

Remember that a troubled individual has poor mental health. If his mental condition continues to decline, there is a tendency that he will become depressed or even think of suicide. For sure, you do not want this to happen to your son. As such, it is imperative on your part to act fast when it comes to searching for a therapist. This professional can help in making sure that your son remains safe, despite the presence of an apparent mental condition.

 

Do not give up in loving and caring for your troubled son. Your words and actions can still transform his life into something better.

 

3 Ways To Avoid Passing Down Anxiety To Your Children

Being curious about everything is innate in practically all kids. When they see a new object, they cannot help but touch it. When they are in a new park, they want to try whatever activity the other children are enjoying. This sense of wonderment won’t seem to stop even if these kids move out of the house and live as adults.

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Although parents were children once upon a time too, many feel the need to hold their little ones back from experiencing various things. If a child wants to take karate classes, for instance, the mother might refuse to enroll him or her, worrying that the youngster will only get bruises. In case there’s a camping trip that the entire school will go to, the dad might not sign his kid’s waiver form because he fears that the youngster isn’t ready for that.

The thing is, if parents like you allow yourselves to be led by worries, the kiddos may either end up with low self-esteem or develop a rebellious streak. That can result in more problems later on, which may be tougher to deal with than a scraped knee or a broken arm.  Worse, they might live with plenty of phobias and be unable to reach their full potential since they’re not used to taking risks and chances. “A big part of treatment for children with anxiety is actually teaching parents stress tolerance, It’s a simultaneous process—it’s both directing the parent’s anxiety, and then how they also support and scaffold the child’s development of stress tolerance,” explains Dr. Laura Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist.

Considering you don’t want to pass down anxiety to your children, here’s what you can do.

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1. Stop Forcing Your Kids To Be Perfect

The first thing you should never forget to do is to live through your children. Some parents who were unpopular in school when they were still young, frankly speaking, tend to force their kids to be better than the rest. Say, in case the child gets A- in an exam, they demand to know why the score isn’t A+. If he or she gets second place in an athletic event, the mom or dad criticizes the kid for not being #1. Not only will that make the youngster fear failure, but it can also cause your child to develop hatred towards you later.

2. Let Your Children Know That They Can Open Up To You

It is also important to open your communication lines with your kiddos so that they won’t feel the need to bottle up their emotions when you’re around. As young as they may seem, after all, you should keep in mind that kids have worries too. E.g., “What if my classmates don’t like me?” or “What if they make fun of me?” Once they manage to talk about their fears to you, though, you can then help them rationalize their feelings and figure out how to react to different incidents. “Especially in younger kids with anxiety you might see freezing and clinging kind of behavior, but you can also see tantrums and complete meltdowns,” says Dr. Rachel Busman, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.

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3. Give The Kids An Opportunity To Experience Things

Last but not the least, it matters to allow your children to experience various activities and not merely read about them from books. If we are honest, some adults who grew up too sheltered have difficulty in finding an excellent job because all their parents let them do back then was watch TV and study. They did not learn how to be street-smart, and so they have no choice but to depend on their mom and dad still.

Things won’t end up this way for you and your kids once you let their skills to grow outside of the house.

Final Word Of Advice?

According to psychologist Dr. Deborah Ledley, “I think it is really challenging to correct parenting styles, especially when parents have the best of intentions.  For example, when kids are anxious, parents tend to shield them from the very things that cause anxiety.” Calm down, dear parents. You can be protective of your little ones, but you should know when to look on and give them the chance to learn on their own. Doing the opposite of that will only cause anxiety – remember that.

Are Curfew Laws Causing More Harm Than Good?

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Gun violence and the public’s distrust of the law enforcers are complicated societal issues that can’t be solved immediately despite it being a priority of the government. To resolve these problems, a particular newspaper suggests a simple change in policy that can address both without actually causing any monetary expenditure from the state. 

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