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Teaching Your Teen How To Cope With Anger

 

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Teenage anger – don’t take it for granted. It can be confusing and terrifying at times. The behavior, if not curbed, can also lead to something serious – deviance, criminal acts, chemical dependency, and more. With this, you should learn some ways to help them handle it.

 

  1. Be A Role Model.

 

First, you should be a model for your teenager. Handle your anger peacefully and at the same time, find a solution to what triggered your feelings. Openly talk to your teenager about how to manage anger healthily so as not to cause regrettable problems in the future.

 

  1. Help Teenagers To Redirect Anger Properly.

 

You have to find the means where your teenager can belt out his anger. Teach them to redirect their frustrations on a punching bag, doing physical exercises or sports, art, dancing, martial arts, and so many more. Point out the importance of expressing their anger on those as mentioned earlier rather than blowing it up on people.

 

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  1. Be Mindful Of External Impacts.

 

Understand that your teenager’s anger issues may have something to do with your parenting. “Some teen aggression is expected,” says John Mayer, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Chicago who treats violent and acting-out teens and their families. Instead of going against it, proceed with total self-control and don’t blow up. Your teenager will surely follow your lead. If there is a problem, it should be taken seriously but not personally as well. Therapists can’t stress on this enough.

 

  1. Establish Strict Rules, Rewards System And Consequences For Intentional Errors.

 

You have to set out strict rules and standards in your household. For every action, there will be an equivalent consequence – either a reward or a punishment. Stick to it no matter what so that your teenager will understand the significance of the rules that you have imposed. “Teens can become so aggressive and out of control that they can sometimes miss out on important developmental steps they need to become successful adults,” says John Mayer, Ph.D.

 

  1. Practice Discipline With Rewards.

 

A reward can motivate your teenager to follow and embrace your rules. Set your rewards as something that your teenager will like. For example, an extra 30 minutes for gadgets, going out with friends, and the likes. It will help them do what you want them to do without troubles. The tactic is usually very effective.

 

 

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  1. Understand The Pressure That Your Teenager Is Undergoing.

 

“Young people are typically unable to see beyond their acute and immediate struggles, which may be related to being victimized by a bully, being a survivor of sexual assault or violence, being uncertain about their sexual orientation, or medical and/or psychological disorders,” said Krystle Herbert, LMFT, PsyD. Understand that your teenager may have issues with her peers, classmates, friends, school work and many more. They may be young people, but they are also susceptible to strained relationships, peer pressure, and stress. And remember, teen hormones are volatile – be considerate of them.

 

  1. Talk To Your Teen About Their Issues.

 

Being a teenager is hard. They have unrealistic standards wherein they need to keep up with others, and that causes tension and pressure. With that, you have to make her feel that you are open to talks and your teen is welcome to approach you anytime. Sometimes, their anger is something that they cannot express openly. Help them release it through conversations.

 

  1. Learn To Listen And Spend Time With Your Teen.

 

Allot some time for your family, especially the angry teenager. Learn to listen to their issues and bond with them by talking. It will help your teenager feel secure and loved. It will also make your teen think that he can handle situations because he has parents who are supportive.

 

  1. Be Open To Negotiations.

 

If your teenager has concerns regarding your rules, hear them out. You can also negotiate with them and give them a chance to explain their side. It’s about democracy. Ignoring your teen or not giving him the opportunity to speak their minds can lead to compressed anger which may worsen over time.

 

  1. Encourage Your Teen To Talk About His Bad Feelings.

 

Allow your teenager to talk about his feelings. Don’t post your parental judgment and wisdom by dominating the conversation. Allow them to express their opinions first. After the teen has calmed down, you can make some suggestions or comments. Don’t criticize, not even constructively, if you want your teen to digest your talks.

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A Guideline To Overcoming Stress In School

While going to school may be interesting, you cannot deny the fact that it can also be stressful on your part. Sometimes, no matter how tough or hard you study for an exam, you still get a failing grade. At the same time, regardless of how you prepare for class, there will still come the point when you are not able to answer during recitations. Aside from this, you may also end up having unresolved issues with your classmates or schoolmates to the point that it can add more to the negative vibes that you encounter daily.

 

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If you want to be stress-free in school, make sure that you check this article. We are going to provide you with some effective ways on how you can remove or eliminate negativity in your college life. “Our study this year gives us a window in looking at how early these patterns might begin,” says clinical psychologist Norman Anderson. Keep in mind that overcoming stress is not difficult, as claimed as many people. As long as you have the proper will and mindset, everything is going to be easy. What matters a lot is your willingness to let go of stress. Below are some of the things that you need to familiarize:

 

Take A Break

 

“They’re maturing much earlier than ever before physically, but they don’t have the psychological maturation to match it,” says Carr-GregLearn a clinical adolescent psychologist in Melbourne. Know hhow to break from your usual routine so that you can avoid a monotonous life. Do not keep on doing the same things over and over again. Whenever you feel tired, do not hesitate to take a break from the usual stressors that you encounter. Failure to do this can only magnify the stress that you will feel in your day-to-day life at school. However, it is best to schedule your break at a time when you do not have a class. For example, book a ticket to a new city on a long weekend.

 

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Be With The Right People

 

Another thing that you must always remind yourself is the need to be surrounded by the best positive people at all times. Avoid those who will only bring in negativity and bad influence in your life. Otherwise, you will end up being stressed out just like them. If you want your life to get a lot better at school, promise yourself to be with people who have the same goals, objectives, and aspirations as you have. Be with these individuals and continue inspiring each other until you materialize your dreams.

 

Talk To Your Parents

 

“Parents are right to be worried about stress and their children’s health,” says Mary Alvord, a clinical psychologist in Maryland and public education coordinator for the American Psychological Association. Always keep in mind that you can always talk to your parents about anything under the sun. Your father or mother will appreciate it if he or she will hear updates about your life in school. You do not need to be specific if you are not comfortable in sharing stories. What matters the most is that your parents should know the stressors that you encounter daily and how they affect your mental health. Your parents will never get tired of supporting you, no matter how difficult the situation may be. You have to accept their help and assistance at all times. By conversing to your parents, the stress levels that you feel may be decreased instantly.

 

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Take note that stress can be eliminated easily as long as you are dedicated to making it happen.

 

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Tips In Acing Your Exams

Being a college student is fun yet stressful all at the same time. It can be exciting to enter the halls of your college school and chat up with your classmates and schoolmates. For sure, by now, you already have many wonderful stories and memories with your college friends. However, we all know that there is so much more to it. College is the point of your life when you have to make better choices for your career. Keep in mind that the decision you make now can affect your future.

 

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One of the major concerns that you must deal with in college is acing your exams. As much as possible, make it a top priority to do well in your classes. Otherwise, you may get a failing mark, and it can be stressful on your part, especially if the school will decide to kick you out. Check the article below to determine the different ways on how you can do well in your exams and get the best score:

 

Listen During Lectures

 

Instead of scribbling doodles on your notes or checking your phones in class, it is ideal if you will start listening to the discussion of the teacher. As much as possible, make it a priority to stay focused during class. Take note that a lot of the items that will be asked in the exam may come from the lectures conducted by your teacher. If you listen to the discussion, then there is a good chance that you will get a good score during the exam.

 

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Get A Tutor

 

Are you aware that even college students may need a tutor or a mentor? Just because you are searching for one does not mean that you are already stupid. The truth is that you just need to look for someone who can make you understand more your topics for the class. Do not feel embarrassed if you see the need to be under tutorial or mentorship. Instead, be proud of yourself because you have recognized the fact that you are not perfect.

 

Avoid Parties On Weekdays

 

College is the best time to have fun with friends and bond over different activities. However, you must have the proper discipline to learn when is the right time to say no to party invitations. If the event falls on a weekday, then there is no doubt as to whether you will attend it or not. The obvious answer is that you should never party on a weekday, especially if there are classes the following day. Otherwise, you will not be encouraged to come to school, and it can have adverse effects on your grade or school records. Choose to have fun on the weekend and consider such activity as a reward to yourself.

 

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Once you do all the things mentioned above, then it would be a lot easier for you to ace your exam. What is essential is that you remain positive at all times so that you will never lose hope in working hard to do best in college.

 

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For Teens: How To Choose Your College Course

College is one of the best moments in your life that you will never forget. As such, it is imperative or crucial on your part to fill it with only the best memories. As much as possible, do not punish yourself in college by choosing the wrong course or attending the wrong classes. Otherwise, you will only end up transferring from one course to another until you eventually get tired of it. The longer it happens, the higher the possibility there is that you will decide to drop out. If you do not want any of these to happen, then you should read this article from start to finish.

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Parenting A Teen: Can You Make It Less Complicated?

Being a parent of a teenager can be challenging, especially if your teen starts to make friends with people outside of his usual circle. It can start to bother you once you notice that your child is changing into someone he is not. You will suffer from constant stress and anxiety if you do not learn how to become a more effective parent to a teen. Take note that there are tons of things that you can do to make your situation better. In this article, we are going to teach you some of the top ways on how you can become the best parent to an adolescent young man.

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15 Reasons Why Mothers Abandon Their Children – Therapists Reveal It All

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There are a lot of reasons, according to therapists, as to why some women think this way. Pregnancy is supposed to be an enjoyable experience as most mothers would say. Even women who did not plan their pregnancy will tell you that keeping their baby was the best decision they have made and they could not imagine their life now if they did not become a mother.

However, some women do not think about pregnancy and motherhood this way. They feel that it is not in them to be a mother and giving up or abandoning their babies is the best choice.

With that, we will be looking into those reasons, as revealed to us by certified mental health specialists and therapists.

Adoption And Abortion Are Not Accepted In Their Society.

These women may not have the choice and the access to adoption and abortion, and they are pressured by what their peers might think, so they quietly leave their babies somewhere for another person to find.

The Mother Has HIV Or AIDS.

A new study shows that almost half of the abandoned babies are born with HIV or AIDS. It may be a reason why their mothers leave them.

They Lack Support From Their Families.

It might be because of their social status or their culture or religion, so they abandon their child. It might not be their choice, or it might be out of shame for their families will not accept them, so they leave their babies.

The Mothers Have No Home Of Their Own.

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Some mothers think that they might be incapable of raising a child in a place where raising children is dangerous, or they might not have the sources to provide for their child.

They Are Not Financially Stable.

Unplanned pregnancy and raising a child can make a woman anxious and abandon their babies. They might not be ready financially and have no financial support but is too scared to reach out for adoption.

The Mothers Have Addiction Issues.

Women who are addicted to substances do not think clearly. They cannot decide properly and leave their children on the streets without realizing what they have done because they are drugged or drunk.

Teenage Pregnancy Is Unacceptable For Some.

Teenage pregnancies are very much frowned upon in society and to avoid the bullying and the anger of their family, they secretly carry their child and leave the baby somewhere after they give birth.

The Babies Have Appearance Or Mental Handicaps.

This may be deemed unreasonable, but some women will abandon their child because of a physical deformity, a mental handicap or even if they gave birth to a child of a certain gender they don’t want. Instead of accepting the child, they will abandon the baby because they don’t like what they see.

She Has No Desire To Become A Mother.

Some might think this way but still accept and love the child, but others don’t feel the love and the desire to have a child and be a mother, so they leave their child behind.

Postpartum Depression Is Also A Concern.

It is another reason for a mother to abandon her child, especially if they do not get the support they need. Sometimes, a woman might feel like they are not bonded with their baby, and it might have led to them feeling worse that then leads to them leaving their babies.

The Mother Is Not Ready.

This has been the highest cause of child abandonment around the world for some women are not ready for the responsibility of being a mother. They will state reasons as to why they are not ready and why they will freely give up their baby.

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They Have An Abusive Partner.

A woman might be in an abusive relationship and don’t want her child to grow up in a situation like that. They will leave their baby and hope he or she gets a better life contrary to what she is living at the moment.

The Mothers Have Their Insecurities.

Some women think that they are not cut out to become a parent. They have no idea how to raise a child properly and to be the best mother for the child and end up abandoning the baby.

They Are In Denial Of Their Situation.

Some women cannot accept the fact that they are pregnant. They are scared of judgments from other people. That is why once they give birth, they have no idea what to do, and they will decide to abandon the baby.

The Mothers Have Mental Illnesses.

A woman who is not mentally stable will not think clearly and do things they would never do if they are mentally sane. They might also believe that since they are not mentally stable, they cannot raise their children properly. This leads to them abandoning their child.

All of these reasons sound surreal but are happening in real life. We know now that it is the lack of support and their mental state that hinders them from becoming a mother. The best way is always to show your loved ones the support they need, especially when they are going through pregnancy so will not end up abandoning their child, no matter their situation.

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What Positive Disciplining Can Do For Your Teen 

Do you happen to have neighbors whose kids are rebellious, rude, and as psychologists often describe – defiant? If you do, then you probably know how vital it is to discipline children.  

Discipline is not only beneficial for children but it also adds to the improvement of their health and well-being. Discipline is as relevant for child development as organic food, physical activity, love, and other primary needs in life. It helps them manage their relationships and cope with the challenges they face. Being disciplined instills respect for others, cooperation, and self-discipline itself.  

As opposed to what some parents want to believe, kids are not appropriately disciplined aren’t happy. Actually, when parents fail to discipline their children, it often causes them to be sad, frustrated, and even resentful. This child may become lousy company to other kids and he may have a hard time making new friends and connecting with his old friends.  

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Children’s Psychological Issues Due To Poor Parenting

Parents have a meaningful influence on their children’s development and growth. That’s because kids take their parent’s actions and words as an example of how they should and shouldn’t handle things around them. Whether good or bad, it doesn’t matter. These kids believe that whatever they see or hear from their parents imply immediate action without the need for logical thinking. With that, it creates tons of psychological issues over time. Yes, there are ways to manage mental problems with the help of a therapist. But it doesn’t guarantee a lifelong result when parents also continue the poor parenting.

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Kids Are Unable To Become Children

Most parents often complain about their kids’ inability to stay quiet and be still. That’s the reason why some of them sometimes result in scolding and spanking kids whenever they are unable to calm down. It creates a psychological issue when these kids constantly listen to their parents’ demands to always behave. These kids will feel uncomfortable doing things even though it is their nature to be silly, cheerful, and adventurous. With that, children may feel anxious about their actions. Thus, they become less confident as they go grow up.

There’s A Buildup Of Depression And Anxiety

Parents who continuously question, look after and negatively observe their kids’ every move are more likely to cause anxiety and depression. That’s because of the pressure that parents are unknowingly putting into the kids’ lives. “It’s mostly in the social relationships, the parent-child relationships, and not something medical,” says Rahil Briggs, a child psychologist. Usually, poor parenting starts with simple criticism. It may seem okay at first because the intentions are somehow good.  But if there’s a demand in it, it can make children question their strength and capabilities. Thus, instead of allowing them to learn from their mistakes, these kids would choose to stay dependent on their parents.

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Tons Of Unpleasant Words Coming Out

When parents always complain about how the children often cause problems, these kids will likely conclude that everyone is better off without them. “Mothers with depression are less likely to interact with their children in active ways. And this has an “impact on your relationship with your child and capacity to parent,” said Joanne Nicholson, Ph.D, a psychologist. Sometimes, children purposely put themselves in danger because of the belief that they are invaluable. And even if parents don’t mean what they say, children will still take it in and live with the negative words forever. Inevitably, some may look at it as a strengthening factor for improving mental and emotional health. However, it is far more different to an encouraging statement due to the mental and emotional torture the hurtful words give.

Disapproval And Discontentment

Perhaps it is known that parents often compare their children to others. Well, some parents may see it as a way of motivating their kids in reaching their potential. But, it’s not always a significant way to do it. Because instead of encouraging children, the process only results in building up a lack of self-esteem. In some unfortunate circumstances, kids might develop an inferiority complex due to constant comparison from different individuals. With that, the psychological issue will begin by the thought of not always being good enough. That everything they do will still end up a waste of time and effort.

There Are Trust Issues

“I think parents often don’t realize how their own emotions, thoughts, feelings, and overall ‘stuff’  significantly impacts their decisions and perspectives,” said Shuli Sandler, a psychologist. Typically, parents would always remind their kids never to trust a stranger. Well, at some point it is quite acceptable. But if children will try to take it seriously and follow it thoroughly, it can have the potential to affect them negatively. Yes, they might not get taken advantage of, but soon these kids will develop severe trust issues with people.

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Not Allowed To Show Emotions

Some parents show a lack of sensitivity to their kids. That’s because they believe that exposing the weak side will only generate mimicry. That’s also the reason why they tell kids to “stop complaining and crying.” However, that action creates a psychological impact on kids’ emotional strength. These little ones will tend to believe that their feelings are not valid and essential. And when they often suppress their emotion, they will assume that sensitivity is a form of weakness.

Unable To Become Independent

Overprotective and over controlling parents are always a sign of poor parenting. The action causes children to become more intolerant, irresponsible, and dependent. It leads to children not taking actions and are more likely unable to make critical decisions.

Handling kids is a tough job. But as parents, it is our role and responsibility to do our best no matter what.

 

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3 Ways To Avoid Passing Down Anxiety To Your Children

Being curious about everything is innate in practically all kids. When they see a new object, they cannot help but touch it. When they are in a new park, they want to try whatever activity the other children are enjoying. This sense of wonderment won’t seem to stop even if these kids move out of the house and live as adults.

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Although parents were children once upon a time too, many feel the need to hold their little ones back from experiencing various things. If a child wants to take karate classes, for instance, the mother might refuse to enroll him or her, worrying that the youngster will only get bruises. In case there’s a camping trip that the entire school will go to, the dad might not sign his kid’s waiver form because he fears that the youngster isn’t ready for that.

The thing is, if parents like you allow yourselves to be led by worries, the kiddos may either end up with low self-esteem or develop a rebellious streak. That can result in more problems later on, which may be tougher to deal with than a scraped knee or a broken arm.  Worse, they might live with plenty of phobias and be unable to reach their full potential since they’re not used to taking risks and chances. “A big part of treatment for children with anxiety is actually teaching parents stress tolerance, It’s a simultaneous process—it’s both directing the parent’s anxiety, and then how they also support and scaffold the child’s development of stress tolerance,” explains Dr. Laura Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist.

Considering you don’t want to pass down anxiety to your children, here’s what you can do.

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1. Stop Forcing Your Kids To Be Perfect

The first thing you should never forget to do is to live through your children. Some parents who were unpopular in school when they were still young, frankly speaking, tend to force their kids to be better than the rest. Say, in case the child gets A- in an exam, they demand to know why the score isn’t A+. If he or she gets second place in an athletic event, the mom or dad criticizes the kid for not being #1. Not only will that make the youngster fear failure, but it can also cause your child to develop hatred towards you later.

2. Let Your Children Know That They Can Open Up To You

It is also important to open your communication lines with your kiddos so that they won’t feel the need to bottle up their emotions when you’re around. As young as they may seem, after all, you should keep in mind that kids have worries too. E.g., “What if my classmates don’t like me?” or “What if they make fun of me?” Once they manage to talk about their fears to you, though, you can then help them rationalize their feelings and figure out how to react to different incidents. “Especially in younger kids with anxiety you might see freezing and clinging kind of behavior, but you can also see tantrums and complete meltdowns,” says Dr. Rachel Busman, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.

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3. Give The Kids An Opportunity To Experience Things

Last but not the least, it matters to allow your children to experience various activities and not merely read about them from books. If we are honest, some adults who grew up too sheltered have difficulty in finding an excellent job because all their parents let them do back then was watch TV and study. They did not learn how to be street-smart, and so they have no choice but to depend on their mom and dad still.

Things won’t end up this way for you and your kids once you let their skills to grow outside of the house.

Final Word Of Advice?

According to psychologist Dr. Deborah Ledley, “I think it is really challenging to correct parenting styles, especially when parents have the best of intentions.  For example, when kids are anxious, parents tend to shield them from the very things that cause anxiety.” Calm down, dear parents. You can be protective of your little ones, but you should know when to look on and give them the chance to learn on their own. Doing the opposite of that will only cause anxiety – remember that.

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