Curfews are an excellent way to discipline teens. They don’t involve any violence and physical or emotional pain like other disciplinary actions. However, parents should ascertain that their children understand why they should follow it and what would happen if they don’t. They should be able to grasp the logic and benefits behind such rule,or it will leave a question in their mind. Some teens don’t understand curfews, so instead of getting the benefits of it, they develop anger, annoyance, and frustration which then can lead to psychological issues such as anxiety and depression.
Category: For Youths
With the continuous evolution of society and increases in technology come new opportunities for research and different ways to communicate. While this is wonderful in terms of advancements in science and development, it also comes with its cons. One that seems to be growing in terms of prevalence, particularly in adolescents is technology addiction. With the significant growth in technology in the past 20 years, it is now more accessible and widespread. It has also become a much more immersive experience than it has ever been before and unfortunately this seems to be capturing our teens. As Doreen Dodgen-Magee, Psy.D says, “As a psychologist and researcher, I have been examining this interplay between technology and mental health for nearly two decades. While technology can do incredible things for us in nearly every area of life, it is neither all good nor benign.”
Many parents may say their teenager is obsessed with technology but there is a big difference between enjoying a bit of time on the computer and having a technology addiction. Below we clarify this for you and give some tips on how to ensure your teen has a healthy balance of technology with other interests.
What is a technology addition?
According to Dr. David Greenfield, “The Internet is the world’s largest slot machine, and the smartphone is the world’s smallest slot machine.” You would be hard pressed to find an adolescent today in a first world country who does not own or have access to a smart phone. Add on top of this many have gaming consoles, laptops, iPads or tablets and the list goes on. With this, adolescents can spend a lot of time using technology and I must admit that even adults are guilty of this sometimes. It becomes a technology addiction though when someone is using the technology as a coping mechanism in a way to avoid life’s problems. For example, scrolling through Facebook when they are getting in trouble or playing video games instead of going to school because they are bullied by their peers.
Why does this seem more prevalent in teens?
There are two reasons why teens are particularly susceptible to this. First, their coping mechanisms are still developing and are generally pretty poor. This means that when they are stressed or upset, they turn to the easiest thing for comfort and reassurance. They highly accessible nature of technology combined with the fact that it can be a very immersive experience makes it the perfect go to for a stressed adolescent.
The other reason adolescents are particularly vulnerable to this type of addiction is due to the main developmental goal during this stage– developing an identity. With technology, the internet, online gaming, social media, message boards and chat rooms, you can create whatever identity suits you. This anonymity gives the adolescent a chance to escape reality to some extent and express themselves in different ways without jeopardizing their ego.
Problems with a technology addiction in teens
Untreated, a true technology addiction can cause significant problems for your teen. These include the following:
- Withdrawing from friends and family and avoiding “real world” social interactions because the anonymity of the internet is safer.
- Negative impact on school work
- Decreased exercise leading to higher chance of obesity
- For those involved in violent gaming, increased aggression
- Loss of hobbies as they choose only to focus on the technology
- Negative impact on sleep
- If not supervised access, increased vulnerability (possible grooming, online bullying, exposure to inappropriate content),
How can you help?
- Have an open and honest talk with your teenager. Let them know that you are concerned about their use of technology and the impact it is having on them.
- Set boundaries around their technology use. Keep in mind this is an addiction, so quitting ‘cold turkey’ is unlikely to be successful. Gradually reduce their technology use so that they have a healthy balance between this and other activities and hobbies.
- Carefully monitor their internet use and the privacy settings on their social media profiles to ensure they are not being exposed to inappropriate content or bad influences.
- Look for other creative and interesting ways for them to expend this energy, rather than turning to video games or online browsing. Try and choose activities based around their interests. They need to be appealing to pull them away from the technology.
- Teach them coping skills (rather than turning to their phone). By taking their technology away, you are taking one of their main coping strategies from them. Make sure that you replace this with something. Things such as learning to talk to someone about their concerns, relaxation or mindfulness strategies or even just listing some pleasurable activities they can do to release stress (such as taking a bath or reading a book) can be helpful.
- If you feel that you and you teenager cannot see eye-to-eye about their use of technology or they are significantly struggling to reduce their use, it may be beneficial to seek counseling.
“Psychologists and sociologists have obviously been studying and debating about screens and their effects for years,” says Andrew Przybylski, who is himself a psychologist at the Oxford Internet Institute.
Parenting can be challenging when it comes to “training” your child to become a better individual. You want to practice discipline since your child’s behavior will reflect on you as a parent. But did you know that there are two faces of disciplining your child? You can be too strict, or you are too permissive.
Being too strict or too permissive is not good. Both instances have its consequences. (You can read a blog published on this site about controlling parents.) Now on this article, pushover parents and what happens to their child are featured. With this, it is best that you know the signs if you are a pushover or not and know the consequences of this kind of parenting.
- No Routine Or Limits
It is very common for parents who are busy all the time. Because of their demanding schedules, they tend to neglect their kids. Chores are left undone, and your child misses his extra-curricular activities. No one is checking up on them. This lack of monitoring can result in raising irresponsible and lazy kids.
- Avoiding Conflict
Working parents are always too tired to check on their kids. More so, to avoid further discussions on a particular topic, they tend to agree or give in to the child’s wishes. As a result, the child wins, and in the long run, he will have that thinking that he can get what he wants. On the parents’ side, they choose to be lenient to avoid conflict with their children which is a future disaster.
- Making School As An Excuse
One of the signs that you are indeed a pushover parent is when your child uses school or schoolwork to avoid doing a chore at home. It only shows that you have no power over your child and that he does whatever he pleases to do. You cannot make him do something because he has this thinking that you don’t have a say on any matter when he uses school as a reason to get away.
- Trying To Be Friends With Your Teens
It is a fact that teenagers are challenging to handle. But pushover parents who think that they can win their teenagers by being “bff’s” with them is downright wrong. In this situation, parents tend to pull down the boundaries in an attempt to reach out. They become friends with their teenager and even give in to whatever he wants. It may lead to having open communication with your child which in a way is a good thing, but your teenager will not take you seriously. As a result, your kid will not obey you if he finds that a rule is an inconvenience to him.
- Rewarding Kids With Technology
Gadgets can offer a lot of conveniences, but it can do no good to your child if used without limits. Permissive parents are too busy or preoccupied, and they tend to give in to whatever their kid wants so that he won’t act out. One of the favorite choices of kids these days is the smartphone and parents reward these gadgets to their kids to keep them busy so that they can proceed with whatever they have to do.
Doing this will indeed keep the kids occupied for quite some time. But then studies show that overuse of gadgets is harmful to kids and adults alike. It can affect one’s behavior, attention span and even their perception of a lot of things. No smartphone can substitute for the benefits of parents’ time with their kids – always remember that.
Are you a pushover parent? If you are, then why are you still wondering why your kid is violating curfew? If they can’t take you seriously, then curfew violation is a possible consequence of being a pushover parent. You have to set limits; you can’t be best friends with your child especially your defiant teenager. You have to give them responsibilities at home, find solutions to conflict by addressing it head-on and not avoiding it, and limit gadget use. These may sound simple, but at least you’re doing something to correct your child’s behavior.
Also, your behavior needs curbing. Speak with an online therapist on ways to help you with being a pushover parent. During online therapy, these counselors have specific techniques to assist you in working out the issues.
In my earlier blog post, I suggested activities and ways to have fun with your child and spouse. As a parent myself, I always want to feel that my teen and I are in the same boat. My husband and I have always been involved with our kids and being a close-knit family makes me complete. Experiencing beautiful things with them and knowing that they’re happy brings me great joy. I hope it is the same for you.
Resilient, unpredictable, and adventurous – these are just some of the many adjectives that can be associated with teenagers. When you are a teenager, you are at a stage of life where you just can’t stay put – always eager to explore the world. It is one of the reasons why teens are rebelling against curfew and for that, things must change at home.
It is normal for teenagers to have emotional outbursts. Psychologists say that getting angry is a normal feeling or reaction towards something that a person disagrees or feel distasteful with. For adolescents, the cause of getting angry may be related to establishing autonomy from parental control and the ability to project an adult status who wants to be capable of making their own decisions and actions right away.
However, anger is never normal for teenagers, this can result to disruptive behaviors ultimately hurting others or themselves. If this is the situation, it is time that they be referred to an anger management class or therapy. According to Denis Sukhodolsky, PhD, a clinical psychologist with Yale Medicine Child Study Center “For children whose tantrums continue as they get older and become something that is not developmentally appropriate, causing problems with peers, family or at school, professional help may be in order.”
I know that sometimes it’s really a pain in the ass to follow rules at school. It’s boring to just sit around in the classroom and to listen to long boring lectures of teachers. However, isn’t that the purpose of going to school? You have to sit and listen to boring classes so that you can learn and eventually get a nice paying job.
Time is something that goes by so quickly. For many, there doesn’t even seem to be enough time in the day. Many people struggle to get everything done that they need to do in time, mostly because they don’t manage their time correctly. There are so many things that you can do to ensure that you get everything done on time before the day ends and it is time to go to bed. These are just some of the common tips on how you can manage your time more efficiently and how to get everything done in time. If you are highly stressed due to overworking, it could lead to other serious health issues, so you need to seek help through online counseling.
Prioritize and do the essential things first
First of all, you need to make sure that you prioritize your workload and make sure that you do the essential things first in the morning. Once they are completed, you can relax a little and start doing the other things that aren’t essential. By prioritizing, you will see that it is easier to get everything done and to manage your time correctly.
Making a schedule and sticking to it
When you make a weekly schedule, you will see that it is easier to physically see what you need to do for the day and it is easier to manage your time correctly.
One of the hurdles of being a teenager is the constant need to break away from your parents’ watchful attention. The thing is, it’s almost impossible to do this without going to extremes like breaking your parents’ trust or exhibiting rebellious behavior. However, you don’t have to do this to gain some freedom to try out things on your own. Parents may seem like villainous characters who are almost always against “fun.” But with a little adjustment on your attitude and approach to certain things, you’ll be surprised to discover how concerned your parents are for your well-being, especially now that you’re a teenager. Here are some tips on how to gain your parents’ trust in a healthy and mature manner:
It may be easier for some people to make new friends at school or in their immediate community. However, it takes some skills to choose the friends that will bring positive things to you as an individual.