In my earlier blog post, I suggested activities and ways to have fun with your child and spouse. As a parent myself, I always want to feel that my teen and I are in the same boat. My husband and I have always been involved with our kids and being a close-knit family makes me complete. Experiencing beautiful things with them and knowing that they’re happy brings me great joy. I hope it is the same for you.
Category: For Youths
Resilient, unpredictable, and adventurous – these are just some of the many adjectives that can be associated with teenagers. When you are a teenager, you are at a stage of life where you just can’t stay put – always eager to explore the world. It is one of the reasons why teens are rebelling against curfew and for that, things must change at home.
It is normal for teenagers to have emotional outbursts. Psychologists say that getting angry is a normal feeling or reaction towards something that a person disagrees or feel distasteful with. For adolescents, the cause of getting angry may be related to establishing autonomy from parental control and the ability to project an adult status who wants to be capable of making their own decisions and actions right away.
However, anger is never normal for teenagers, this can result to disruptive behaviors ultimately hurting others or themselves. If this is the situation, it is time that they be referred to an anger management class or therapy. According to Denis Sukhodolsky, PhD, a clinical psychologist with Yale Medicine Child Study Center “For children whose tantrums continue as they get older and become something that is not developmentally appropriate, causing problems with peers, family or at school, professional help may be in order.”
I know that sometimes it’s really a pain in the ass to follow rules at school. It’s boring to just sit around in the classroom and to listen to long boring lectures of teachers. However, isn’t that the purpose of going to school? You have to sit and listen to boring classes so that you can learn and eventually get a nice paying job.
Time is something that goes by so quickly. For many, there doesn’t even seem to be enough time in the day. Many people struggle to get everything done that they need to do in time, mostly because they don’t manage their time correctly. There are so many things that you can do to ensure that you get everything done on time before the day ends and it is time to go to bed. These are just some of the common tips on how you can manage your time more efficiently and how to get everything done in time. If you are highly stressed due to overworking, it could lead to other serious health issues, so you need to seek help through online counseling.
Prioritize and do the essential things first
First of all, you need to make sure that you prioritize your workload and make sure that you do the essential things first in the morning. Once they are completed, you can relax a little and start doing the other things that aren’t essential. By prioritizing, you will see that it is easier to get everything done and to manage your time correctly.
Making a schedule and sticking to it
When you make a weekly schedule, you will see that it is easier to physically see what you need to do for the day and it is easier to manage your time correctly.
One of the hurdles of being a teenager is the constant need to break away from your parents’ watchful attention. The thing is, it’s almost impossible to do this without going to extremes like breaking your parents’ trust or exhibiting rebellious behavior. However, you don’t have to do this to gain some freedom to try out things on your own. Parents may seem like villainous characters who are almost always against “fun.” But with a little adjustment on your attitude and approach to certain things, you’ll be surprised to discover how concerned your parents are for your well-being, especially now that you’re a teenager. Here are some tips on how to gain your parents’ trust in a healthy and mature manner:
It may be easier for some people to make new friends at school or in their immediate community. However, it takes some skills to choose the friends that will bring positive things to you as an individual.
Being a teenager opens a new array of things that you can now do without the supervision of your parents 24/7. This array includes going out on friendly dates. Some of you might still be too young to go on friendly dates and that’s okay. Don’t rebel against your parents for that reason because they are just protecting you.
If your parents are not that strict and you are old enough to go on friendly dates, make sure abide by the rules that your parents gave you. Don’t take advantage of them. Most likely, if you do, there won’t be any following dates. Having a curfew might be one of the rules that your parents would give you. It is reasonable to have that since you are still a teen. However, it might be hard for you to be mindful about the curfew since you are definitely excited for your first time. Nevertheless, you have to be a responsible teen.
Here are some few tips on how you can be mindful about your curfew:
Put on some reminders.
Make sure to bring your smartphone with you so you can set an alarm at most every hour to remind you of your incoming curfew. Also, tell your date that you have a curfew so they would understand why you need to be mindful of the time. Don’t be shy to tell that. Both of you are still teens so it’s normal to still have curfews.
Get a ride from your parent.
This is probably not a very appealing tip. But, it is better that your parent would meet your date so they would know if they will be comfortable with you going out with that person. If your mother or father is not that busy to give you a ride, especially if they offer you a ride, make sure to accept it. This can work in your favor that if they get stuck in heavy traffic to fetch you, then your curfew will be extended.
Talk about the time beforehand.
Before you even go on the actual friendly date, make sure to talk to your date about the whole duration of the date. If you are just going to watch a movie, then determine how long would be the running time plus the transportation time. In that way, you can give an estimated time to your parents on how long you will be out. Also, they can adjust your curfew if they seem fit.
Get excited about your first friendly date. Still, be mindful of your curfew so you’ll have following dates.
Teenagers can become distant to their family as soon as they found out how to have fun with their friends. They start to be more independent as soon as they become affiliated with people having the same interests and mindsets as they have. This might be worrisome for parents who want their teens to spend time with the family immediately after school.
Despite these possibilities, parents can become proactive by preventing their teens to become distant. For families with this existing problem, it is still worth a try and it will never be too late.
Create a Trendy Bonding Time
It might be difficult for parents to keep up with the times, but being up-to-date might bring you closer to your teen. It is now easier to know what keeps their generation busy because of the massive information readily available on the internet.
You may want to learn how to play their favorite PlayStation game so they would feel that you are reaching out to them. You may also try to watch their favorite NBA team with them and try to relate the ongoing trends with their idols.
Reward Their Act of Kindness
Being up to date is not the only means to get their attention and care. For parents who might have teenagers doing household chores, or doing their homework on time, you can simply reward them with their favorite shirt or movie tickets. They will see also notice their positive deeds and not just their mistakes and shortcomings.
Have One-on-One Moments
This method will eventually lead them to open up to you. Take the opportunity to become their confidant. Involve yourself with their personal issues until they become more comfortable doing so. If the problem is in the home itself, try being reactive and open minded.
Let Them Bring Friends
Furthermore, you might want to involve their friends with your family life. By inviting his or her circle to your home, you will not only get a chance to know the type of people he or she is being involved with. You will also have a chance to make them feel that whoever your children have become, they will always be welcomed by their parents. It will also be a healthy exercise for your children to open up to other people beyond the walls of their home.
Of course, it will never be a one-size-fits-all guide for all families out there. The cure for making your teenagers enjoy their time at home still depends on the circumstances surrounding him or her. Make sure to keep an open mind and be less punitive. Share positive vibes around your house to motivate your teens to spend more time with the family.
So your friends are inviting you to try this newly-opened coffee shop downtown and hang out for a while because it’s a weekend. You are deciding whether you should come so you can unwind.. You really want to go but with the piles of homework and upcoming exams that you have next week, is it okay to say “no”?
Wanting to be more accepted and valued by your friends is a normal part of being a teenager. You might have heard the term “peer pressure” being used a lot to better describe how your behavior as a teenager is shaped. Peer pressure is often associated with negative behaviors such as doing drugs and drinking alcohol. However, you can turn the pressure into a positive one. The secret lies with coping well with the pressure and getting the balance between being yourself and fitting in. This means: knowing your priorities, distinguishing the right from the wrong, choosing what’s best for you, and building a strong self-esteem to resist the influence that often comes with the pressure.
So is it okay to say “no”? The answer is a resounding YES. Here’s why,
You are the only one who really knows your priorities.
We all live such busy lives. That’s what makes it challenging to do everything that we want to do. However, living your life will be determined by the choices you make every day. That’s why it is important to know what’s valuable to you and what will make you happy. Always make the wise decisions. Never waste your time on less important things.
If you are not sure about something and the idea makes you feel hesitant and/or uncomfortable, say “no” to it. No one should dictate you about what you should be doing and what not. You know yourself well. You are the only one who can do this for yourself.
You are not obligated to do something for someone.
Sure, your seatmate let you borrow his notes because you were absent last week and you need to catch up. Your best friend helped you to run that errand yesterday because you couldn’t carry the huge box from your house to the other town. Nevertheless, you’re still not obligated to repay their good deeds by joining them to cut class and spend the rest of the day playing computer games or smoking. Good friends won’t force you to do things that they know will harm both of you.
You have the freedom to choose what’s right for you. Don’t allow others to make you feel bad or guilty for living the life that you deserve.
You can never control people’s opinion of you.
“What other people think of me is none of my business.” – Wayne Dyer
You do not need to be too concerned about what other people think of you. Moreover, you don’t have to try to please everyone, and/or beg for approval. Whatever you do, whatever you say, people will judge you. Whether fair or harsh, don’t sweat this small thing.
You are in-charge of yourself.
If you got too drunk, got a throbbing headache and a hangover after last night’s wild party, or you’re sent to the guidance office for inappropriate behavior, will your peers stand by your side? Probably not. Just like you, they are too busy with themselves.
Deciding to do something and failing to follow through affects the people around you. Do not say “yes” to a lifetime commitment that you’re not really happy about. Because in the long run, you are the one to suffer.
There is more to life than always saying “yes.”
Life is too short to be wasted. But that doesn’t mean that you should try everything that life throws at you. There are things that are worth pursuing for. There are things that don’t really matter. You should know how to differentiate and prioritize.
In the end, it will always be your call. Start living the life that you want and deserve by realizing that it is actually okay to say “no”.