In my earlier blog post, I suggested activities and ways to have fun with your child and spouse. As a parent myself, I always want to feel that my teen and I are in the same boat. My husband and I have always been involved with our kids and being a close-knit family makes me complete. Experiencing beautiful things with them and knowing that they’re happy brings me great joy. I hope it is the same for you.
Category: For Parents
Resilient, unpredictable, and adventurous – these are just some of the many adjectives that can be associated with teenagers. When you are a teenager, you are at a stage of life where you just can’t stay put – always eager to explore the world. It is one of the reasons why teens are rebelling against curfew and for that, things must change at home.
Every teenager goes through rebellion stage and overcomes it eventually. The intensity of rebellion will depend on the environment the teenager is exposed to, the factors that have triggered it and the involvement of the parents through the process. In this light, parents must never show their marital problems to their child. If ever you have issues, it must be discussed behind closed doors.
Though it is a fact that rebellion is quite typical in teens, still, it shouldn’t be tolerated nor taken for granted by parents. Rebellion usually takes place when your teenager transitions into the young adult phase. Such phenomenon can cause, most of the time, conflict and chaos within the household. However, instead of going head-to-head with your teenager, it is best that you find ways to connect with him and help him out through the transition.
As parents, we all dream of raising the perfect teenagers — talented, confident, but responsible. But in reality, most teens will make mistakes once in a while. The teenage years can be especially stressful for any parent because of the hormones and other growing pains your child will experience at this time.
Teenage anger – don’t take it for granted. It can be confusing and terrifying at times. The behavior, if not curbed, can also lead to something serious – deviance, criminal acts, chemical dependency, and more. With this, you should learn some ways to help them handle it.
- Be A Role Model.
First, you should be a model for your teenager. Handle your anger peacefully and at the same time, find a solution to what triggered your feelings. Openly talk to your teenager about how to manage anger healthily so as not to cause regrettable problems in the future.
- Help Teenagers To Redirect Anger Properly.
You have to find the means where your teenager can belt out his anger. Teach them to redirect their frustrations on a punching bag, doing physical exercises or sports, art, dancing, martial arts, and so many more. Point out the importance of expressing their anger on those as mentioned earlier rather than blowing it up on people.
- Be Mindful Of External Impacts.
Understand that your teenager’s anger issues may have something to do with your parenting. “Some teen aggression is expected,” says John Mayer, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Chicago who treats violent and acting-out teens and their families. Instead of going against it, proceed with total self-control and don’t blow up. Your teenager will surely follow your lead. If there is a problem, it should be taken seriously but not personally as well. Therapists can’t stress on this enough.
- Establish Strict Rules, Rewards System And Consequences For Intentional Errors.
You have to set out strict rules and standards in your household. For every action, there will be an equivalent consequence – either a reward or a punishment. Stick to it no matter what so that your teenager will understand the significance of the rules that you have imposed. “Teens can become so aggressive and out of control that they can sometimes miss out on important developmental steps they need to become successful adults,” says John Mayer, Ph.D.
- Practice Discipline With Rewards.
A reward can motivate your teenager to follow and embrace your rules. Set your rewards as something that your teenager will like. For example, an extra 30 minutes for gadgets, going out with friends, and the likes. It will help them do what you want them to do without troubles. The tactic is usually very effective.
- Understand The Pressure That Your Teenager Is Undergoing.
“Young people are typically unable to see beyond their acute and immediate struggles, which may be related to being victimized by a bully, being a survivor of sexual assault or violence, being uncertain about their sexual orientation, or medical and/or psychological disorders,” said Krystle Herbert, LMFT, PsyD. Understand that your teenager may have issues with her peers, classmates, friends, school work and many more. They may be young people, but they are also susceptible to strained relationships, peer pressure, and stress. And remember, teen hormones are volatile – be considerate of them.
- Talk To Your Teen About Their Issues.
Being a teenager is hard. They have unrealistic standards wherein they need to keep up with others, and that causes tension and pressure. With that, you have to make her feel that you are open to talks and your teen is welcome to approach you anytime. Sometimes, their anger is something that they cannot express openly. Help them release it through conversations.
- Learn To Listen And Spend Time With Your Teen.
Allot some time for your family, especially the angry teenager. Learn to listen to their issues and bond with them by talking. It will help your teenager feel secure and loved. It will also make your teen think that he can handle situations because he has parents who are supportive.
- Be Open To Negotiations.
If your teenager has concerns regarding your rules, hear them out. You can also negotiate with them and give them a chance to explain their side. It’s about democracy. Ignoring your teen or not giving him the opportunity to speak their minds can lead to compressed anger which may worsen over time.
- Encourage Your Teen To Talk About His Bad Feelings.
Allow your teenager to talk about his feelings. Don’t post your parental judgment and wisdom by dominating the conversation. Allow them to express their opinions first. After the teen has calmed down, you can make some suggestions or comments. Don’t criticize, not even constructively, if you want your teen to digest your talks.
Does your child seem gloomier than usual? Are they searching for sites that offer counseling online in their Internet history? Are they distant from you and even their close friends? If that’s the case, then your child may be having issues with their mental health.
Being a parent of a teenager is challenging because of the different kinds of pressure available on the latter. As a parent, it is only typical for you to want the best for your son or any family member. All you want is for him to take up a course that can help him secure his future. At the same time, you also hope that he will stay away from vices such as smoking or using drugs. Unfortunately, there are instances when things seem to go beyond your control.
It can be sad and heartbreaking to find out that your teenaged child is going through a problem even in his early years. At some point, you will feel responsible for who he has become or with the choices he makes. When this happens, the right thing to do is to avoid blaming yourself for what is happening in his life. Instead, find the courage within you to help him find the right path. Remember that it is never too late for him to change. All that you need to do is to trust your love for each other.
In this article, we are going to provide you with a list of the proper ways to handle a troubled teenager. Make sure to familiarize yourself with these:
- Identify The Issue
The initial step that you need to accomplish is to determine the problem in your teenage child’s attitude. Why is he acting that way? Did something take place in the past that made him distant and difficult to deal with? As a parent of the troubled person, you need to be aware of the answers to these questions. Keep in mind that the only way to know the proper solution to the problem is to know the reason.
- Talk To Your Child
Now is the time when your son needs you the most. Do not abandon him just because he has become hardheaded or stubborn. The way your child acts may be brought about by some frustrations or issues that he has about his self or those surrounding him. Because of this, you must study or learn how to talk to him. Make him feel comfortable so that he will start to open up to you.
- Keep Your Cool
A troubled teenager will test your patience and understanding. You will get mad quickly, especially when he would show his rebellious acts. When this happens, the ideal thing to do is to relax and have a presence of mind. Avoid making him feel that you are about to give up to him. Instead, find a way to inform him that you will always be by his side no matter what happens.
- Do Things Together
If your beloved son is suffering from drug addiction or substance abuse, then make sure to introduce ways that can divert his attention from the harmful items. An excellent way of doing this is to start bonding together. Give time to your son so that he will feel that you care about his well-being. Remind him that there are other fun things to do other than smoking, drinking or overdosing.
- Use Positive Reinforcement
Another smart idea is to use the power of positive reinforcement to motivate the teenager to start doing good things. Give him a reward whenever he does an act that makes you happy or those everyone around him. However, you must remember to find an award or prize that is equivalent to the deed he has done. Make sure to use your sound judgment in making a decision.
- Ask Help
At this point, it is crucial to emphasize the reality that it is okay to seek help from other people. Do not be embarrassed if you need to call for help, support or assistance to some friends or relatives. These people will be more than willing to extend their helping hands. Your son may not listen to you, but he may take in the advice from other people.
- Impose Rules
As a parent, you have every right to impose rules and regulations that your son must follow. This is an important thing to do so that there will be order in your household. Let your child know that non-compliance with the rules can result in a disadvantage on their part. Nonetheless, this does not give you an unbridled authority to specify unreasonable rules.
- Find A Therapist
Remember that a troubled individual has poor mental health. If his mental condition continues to decline, there is a tendency that he will become depressed or even think of suicide. For sure, you do not want this to happen to your son. As such, it is imperative on your part to act fast when it comes to searching for a therapist. This professional can help in making sure that your son remains safe, despite the presence of an apparent mental condition.
Do not give up in loving and caring for your troubled son. Your words and actions can still transform his life into something better.
As a parent, there is only one thing that you probably want to happen, and that is to watch your child succeed in every step of the way. No mother wants to see her son or daughter end up with a dark future. It is why all parents do their best to ensure that the child is in the right direction.
Developing closer and strong ties with your teenager is quite challenging. The age gap alone is a clear indication of how your generation differs from the youth of today. Do not be surprised to find out that the things you loathe are the exact things they love.